Six rules for a smooth Thanksgiving
After not putting out candy for Halloween and before becoming a grinch during Christmas, I am a millennial disengaged with the arrival of indigenous day (f.k.a Thanksgiving).
It’s a busy week for therapists as anxiousness grows. The anticipation of the clashes of generations, elephants in the shadows of every room, and tension thicker than raw yams makes you wonder if the feast is even worth the headache. If I must participate yet again, I only have a few requests.
1.) Don’t ask about relationships I haven’t mentioned or my familial goals. If they didn’t show up with me then we’re not together. I don’t have kids because inflation, shrinking coastlines, potential draft, savings, wishlists, etc.
2.) Don’t try and remind me of my awkward phase, live in the present. Like who could imagine that reminding me of how much acne I had as a teen would cause me to abandon conversations.
3.) Don’t treat me like a child, I’m a tax paying citizen. Just because I don’t have kids doesn’t make me any less of an adult. I soak my oats overnight.
4.) Don’t bully younger generations with outdated concepts and outlooks. If the kid is in grade school, he needs a smartphone. Memes have replaced small talk and we’d prefer it that way. Also, we don’t have to be confined to the movie options available on cable television.
5.) Don’t bring up Christopher Columbus and pilgrims if you don’t want to speak about genocide. Why did we have to graduate high school before this was addressed? It’s pretty wild they never pushed back on such a misleading story. He was looking for India, perused thru the West Indies, and called the indigenous people “Indians”…
6.) Don’t ask me about my routine walk before the food is ready. Weed is pretty much legal nationwide but somehow I still need to hide it from the family. Meanwhile my cousin is on their third cigarette.
